Listening - Types and essentials of effective listening.

LISTENING :

Listening is the conscious processing of the auditory stimuli that have been perceived through hearing.

Listening differs from obeying. Parents may commonly conflate the two, by telling a disobedient child that he "didn't listen to me". However, a person who receives and understands information or an instruction, and then chooses not to comply with it or to agree to it, has listened to the speaker, even though the result is not what the speaker wanted.

 TYPES OF LISTENING :

1. DISCRIMINATIVE LISTENING : Discriminative listening is the type of listening, whereby the difference between difference sounds is identified.  If listener cannot hear differences, then they cannot make sense of the meaning that is expressed by such differences. People learn to discriminate between sounds within their own language early, and later are unable to discriminate between the phonemes of other languages. This is one reason why a person from one country finds it difficult to speak another language perfectly, as they are unable distinguish the subtle sounds that are required in that language. Likewise, a person who cannot hear the subtleties of emotional variation in another person's voice will be less likely to be able to discern the emotions the other person is experiencing. Listening is a visual as well as auditory act, as we communicate much through body language. We thus also need to be able to discriminate between muscle and skeletal movements that signify different meanings. 2. COMPREHENSION LISTENING : This listening is to make sense of the sounds . To comprehend the meaning requires first having a lexicon of words at our fingertips and also all rules of grammar and syntax by which we can understand what others are saying. The same is true, of course, for the visual components of communication, and an understanding of body language helps us understand what the other person is really meaning. In communication, some words are more important and some less so, and comprehension often benefits from extraction of key facts and items from a long spiel. Comprehension listening is also known  as content listening, informative listening and full listening. 3. CRITICAL LISTENING : Critical listening is listening in order to evaluate and judge, forming opinion about what is being said. Judgment includes assessing strengths and weaknesses, agreement and approval. This form of listening requires significant real-time cognitive effort as the listener analyzes what is being said, relating it to existing knowledge and rules, whilst simultaneously listening to the ongoing words from the speaker. 4. BIASED LISTENING : Biased listening happens when the person hears only what they want to hear, typically misinterpreting what the other person says based on the stereotypes and other biases that they have. Such biased listening is often very evaluative in nature. 5. EVALUATIVE LISTENING : In evaluative listening, or critical listening, listener make judgments about what the other person is saying. They seek to assess the truth of what is being said and also judge what they say against our values, assessing them as good or bad, worthy or unworthy. Evaluative listening is particularly pertinent when the other person is trying to persuade , perhaps to change the behavior and maybe even to change the beliefs.  Within this, person also discriminate between subtleties of language and comprehend the inner meaning of what is said.  Typically also we weigh up the pros and cons of an argument, determining whether it makes sense logically as well as whether it is helpful to us. Evaluative listening is also called critical, judgmental or interpretive listening. 6. APPRECIATIVE LISTENING :  In appreciative listening, we seek certain information which will appreciate, for example that which helps meet our needs and goals. We use appreciative listening when we are listening to good music, poetry or maybe even the stirring words of a great leader. 7 .SYMPATHETIC LISTENING : In sympathetic listening we care about the other person and show this concern in the way we pay close attention and express our sorrow for their ills and happiness at their joys. 8. EMPATHETIC LISTENING : When we listen empathetically, we go beyond sympathy to seek a truer understand how others are feeling. This requires excellent discrimination and close attention to the nuances of emotional signals. When we are being truly empathetic, we actually feel what they are feeling. In order to get others to expose these deep parts of themselves to us, we also need to demonstrate our empathy in our demeanor towards them, asking sensitively and in a way that encourages self-disclosure. 9. THERAPEUTIC LISTENING In therapeutic listening, the listener has a purpose of not only empathizing with the speaker but also to use this deep connection in order to help the speaker understand, change or develop in some way. This not only happens when you go to see a therapist but also in many social situations, where friends and family seek to both diagnose problems from listening and also to help the speaker cure themselves, perhaps by some cathartic process. This also happens in work situations, where managers, HR people, trainers and coaches seek to help employees learn and develop. 10 .DIALOGIC LISTENING : The word 'dialogue' stems from the Greek words 'dia', meaning 'through' and 'logos' meaning 'words'. Thus dialogic listening mean learning through conversation and an engaged interchange of ideas and information in which we actively seek to learn more about the person and how they think. Dialogic listening is sometimes known as 'relational listening'. 11. RELATIONSHIP LISTENING : Sometimes the most important factor in listening is in order to develop or sustain a relationship. This is why lovers talk for hours and attend closely to what each other has to say when the same words from someone else would seem to be rather boring. Relationship listening is also important in areas such as negotiation and sales, where it is helpful if the other person likes you and trusts you.

TYPES OF LISTENERS :

1. Non-listeners

A non-listener doesn't intend to listen to the speaker, doesn't hear, and doesn't make an effort to pay attention. 

The non-listener would rather do all the talking. As a result, this person constantly interrupts the speaker and always attempts to have the last word. 

2. Superficial listeners

A superficial listener hears what a speaker is saying but doesn't grasp the point they are making. 

A superficial listener listens only for the basic meaning of the spoken words and takes no notice of body language, voice tone, and other subtle forms of communication. 

Most often, these listeners are busy thinking about what they want to say next.

Speaker might get the impression that they do understand what they ar saying, which can lead to confusion and mistakes. 

People who listen superficially often search for an excuse to avoid conversation or difficult discussions.

3. Logical listeners

Logical listeners make an effort to hear what speaker is saying and to comprehend the meaning of the actual words. 

They don't understand the intent or the meaning behind the words spoken. Because they don't receive messages from vocal intonation, body language, or facial expressions, they miss important components of what a speaker is trying to communicate.

Logical listeners need to concentrate more on the nonverbal communication accompanying speech.

4. Active listeners

 Listening actively requires concentration and emotional effort. 

Active listeners won't judge speaker as they speak, but will try their best to understand what speaker is saying and why saying it. 

They'll respect your point of view. They'll listen for the intent and emotions behind the words so that they can better understand your line of thought.

Characteristics of Good and Effective Listener

Good and effective listener tries to give maximum amount of thought to the speaker’s ideas being communicated, leaving a minimum amount of time for mental exercises to go off track. A good listener:

1. Is attentive- Good listener must pay attention to the key points. He should be alert. He should avoid any kind of distraction.
2. Do not assume- Good listener does not ignore the information he considers is unnecessary. He should always summarize the speaker’s ideas so that there is no misunderstanding of thoughts of speakers. He avoids premature judgements about the speakers message.
3. Listen for feelings and facts- Good listener deliberately listens for the feelings of the speaker. He concentrates totally on the facts. He evaluates the facts objectively. His listening is sympathetic, active and alert. He keenly observes the gestures, facial expression and body language of the speaker. In short, a good listener should be projective (i.e. one who tries to understand the views of the speaker) and empathic (i.e. one who concentrates not only on the surface meaning of the message but tries to probe the feelings and emotions of the speaker).
4. Concentrate on the other speakers kindly and generously- A good listener makes deliberate efforts to give a chance to other speakers also to express their thoughts and views. He tries to learn from every speaker. He evaluates the speaker’s ideas in spare time. He focuses on the content of the speaker’s message and not on the speaker’s personality and looks.
5. Opportunizes- A good listener tries to take benefit from the opportunities arising. He asks “What’s in it for me?”

ESSENTIALS OF EFFECTIVE LISTENING

 Effective listening is actively absorbing the information given to listener by a speaker, showing that person is listening and interested, and providing feedback to the speaker so that he or she knows the message was received.  

Delivering verbal communication, like writing a newsletter, involves trying to choose the right words and nonverbal cues to convey a message that will be interpreted in the way that person intend.  

Effective listeners show speakers that they have been heard and understood.

1. ATTENTION :

Attention may be defined as the visual portion of concentration on the speaker. Through eye contact and other body language, we communicate to the speaker that we are paying close attention to his/her messages. 

All the time we are reading the verbal and nonverbal cues from the speaker, the speaker is reading ours. What messages are we sending out? If we lean forward a little and focus our eyes on the person, the message is we are paying close attention.  

2. BODY LANGUAGE :

A lot of communication is non-verbal. Therefore, one need to pay attention to the body language and that of the speaker while engaging in a conversation. 

Avoid fidgeting with things and hands, tapping foot or rearranging papers on desk, as these actions indicate the disinterest in the conversation. 

One need to use their eyes and ears in tandem and maintain eye contact while listening. 

An occasional nod of the head will indicate the acceptance and interest.

3. EYE CONTACT :

Eye contact is important when listening. If listener give the speaker the impression of not being interested and are distracted, they may never open up again. 

When someone is talking , focusing directly on their eyes so that they will know with certainty of absorbing every single word. 

Even if the topic is not interesting ,  respecting and truly listening to what the speaker has to say.

4. REASSURE THE SPEAKER : 

Communicating and letting the conclusion of the conversation, known to the speaker is a good practice. 

Making it clear that listener is open to further discussion . 

In addition, reassuring the speaker of  the intention to keep the discussion confidential. 

5. DO NOT INTERRUPT 

Not interrupting the speaker with what they feel or think about the "telling". Instead, wait for the other person to ask the opinion before breaking the flow of their discourse. 

Active listening requires the listener to shelve his or her own opinions temporarily and patiently await appropriate breaks in conversation. When the conversation breaks, provide a summary or an empathetic concurrence.

If listener interrupt the person too soon, then the speaker will be frustrated and won't fully absorb what listener is saying. This will cause miscommunication and distraction .

6. ANALYZE THE TONE :

Volume and tone both add to what someone is saying.

A good speaker will use both volume and tone to their advantage to keep an audience attentive; everybody will use pitch, tone and volume of voice in certain situations – let these help listener to understand the emphasis of what is being said.

7. EFFECTIVE USE OF SILENCE :

For effective active or empathic listening use silence appropriately. 

Allow for comfortable silences to slow down the exchange. Give the person time to think as well as talk. 

Silence can also be very helpful in diffusing an unproductive interaction.

8. CLARIFICATION :

The process of bringing vague material into sharper focus.

 To untangle unclear or wrong listener interpretation.

 To get more information.

 To help the speaker see other points of view.

 To identify what was said.

EXAMPLE -I’m confused, let me try to sate what I think you were trying to say.You’ve said so much, let me see if I’ve got it all.